Tom's Tractor Works

ONELINERS

** HE WHO LAUGHS LAST THINKS SLOWEST

** A DAY WITHOUT SUNSHINE IS LIKE, WELL, NIGHT

** ON THE OTHER HAND ------ YOU HAVE DIFFERENT FINGERS

** WHEN THE CHIPS ARE DOWN, THE BUFFALO IS EMPTY

** SEEN IT ALL, DONE IT ALL, CAN’T REMEMBER MOST OF IT

** THOSE WHO LIVE BY THE SWORD GET SHOT BY THOSE WHO DON’T

** FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE KIDS AND DONT KNOW IT, WE HAVE A NURSERY DOWNSTAIRS

** HONK IF YOU LOVE PEACE AND QUIET

** DESPITE THE COST OF LIVING, HAVE YOU NOTICED HOW IT REMAINS SO POPULAR

** NOTHING IS FOOL PROOF TO A SUFFICIENTLY TALENTED FOOL

** IT’S HARD TO UNDERSTAND HOW A CEMETERY RAISED ITS BURIAL COST AND BLAMED IT ON THE COST OF LIVING

** IF YOU LINE UP ALL THE CARS IN THE WORLD SOMEONE WILL BE STUPID ENOUGH TO TRY AND PASS THEM

** THE LATEST SURVEY SHOWS THAT 3 OUT OF 4 PEOPLE MAKE UP 75 % OF THE WORLDS POPULATION

** THE THINGS THAT COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT MAY BE THE THINGS LEFT BY THOSE WHO GOT THERE FIRST.

** THE CHURCH WILL HOST AN EVENING OF FINE DINING, SUPER ENTERTAINMENT AND GRACIOUS HOSTILITY

** LOW SELF ESTEEM SUPPORT CLASS WILL MEET THURSDAY AT 7 PM. PLEASE USE THE BACK DOOR.

** THE PEACEMAKING CONFERENCE SCHEDULED FOR TODAY HAS BEEN CANCELED DUE TO A CONFLICT

** I STARTED WITH NOTHING AND I STILL HAVE MOST OF IT

** WHERE DO YOU GET VIRGIN WOOL FROM?? -- UGLY SHEEP !!